Shit My Dad Says

Justin Halpern's life took an unexpected turn at 28 when he ended up back home with his 73-year-old father. Growing up, his father's candidness was a constant presence, always ready to call out Justin's foolishness with brutal honesty. Upon moving back, Justin admits he was still making plenty of mistakes, but this time around, he had the sense to start noting down his father's sharp, often hilarious observations. Justin introduces readers to his father, whose humorous and philosophical insights have garnered nearly 1.5 million followers on Twitter. This book, a laugh-out-loud yet heartfelt memoir, highlights the complexities of their father-son bond through the lens of these anecdotes. According to Justin, his father resembles 'Socrates, but angrier and with worse hair,' capturing the essence of his blunt, yet thoughtful comments. Some classic gems from his father include quips like, "Sometimes having you here is nice. Now ain't one of those times. Pass the remote; I'm not watching this nonsense." On birthdays, his father would remark, "Happy Birthday, I didn't get you a gift... Oh, your mom did? Well, consider that from me too—unless it’s lousy." Recollections of family visits deliver more laughs: "Your brother's baby came over today. He bragged it could stand. It couldn’t do squat. Just sat there. Major disappointment." His father's worldview is encapsulated in statements such as, "The worst thing you can be is a liar... Okay, sure, the worst is a Nazi, but THEN it's a liar. Nazi first, liar second." His father's candid reflections on aging include sentiment like, "Why the hell would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and everything’s starting to bore me. By the way, I'm leaving no money behind just so you know." This collection of musings forms a chaotic, comedic, and valuable depiction of their unique relationship, placing Justin Halpern as a distinct and refreshing voice in comedy writing.